HannahNiki

 

It was just another day in the life of a 3 year old. My mom dropped me off at my preschool classroom, kissed me goodbye and left for work. I enjoyed preschool most days, especially when our snacks were chocolate chip cookies! My teachers hugged us a lot, and most of the other kids were nice. I did not have one best friend, but had fun playing with everyone. It was a normal day, and we started working on our art projects from the day before. I cut out a rectangle of green construction paper, and then used the scissors to make slits on one side. I used my glue stick to paste my “grass” onto my scene. Finally the clock struck 10:00 am, my favorite time of the day. I knew that 10:00 am meant that it was time to play outside on the yard. Today I was wearing a blue dress. I adored it. It was from my favorite store, The Gap, and there were flowers all over. As I walked outside to the playground I noticed another girl wearing my dress. The dresses were exactly the same, blue, flowered, and from The Gap. I had never talked to this girl, but next thing I knew, I was walking over to her. She was standing by the slide, having just gone down. We both looked at each other, then at our outfits, and we giggled. Neither one of us realized it then, but from that moment on, Niki (that was her name) and I were inseparable.

 

The playground brought us together, but going to the same preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, as well as becoming neighbors along the way, kept us together. Niki has been my best friend for 18 years. Niki is family.

 

My memories with Niki are strong. Each year, Niki and I would go with our moms to our elementary school the weekend before the first day of school to find out our class assignments. I was always so nervous, hoping that we would be in the same class. Every year I was met with a sigh of relief when both of our names were on the same list. We carpooled to and from school together, played handball together at recess, and hung out after school together either at dance class or at one of our houses. We were known as one, HannahNiki; our names were always said together. I went with her and she went with me.

 

As we grew up, Niki and I naturally became interested in different things. Although we attended the same middle school, I was in the performing arts program, while she was not. For six years of elementary school, we had shared our teachers and classmates, but not anymore. Middle school was the first time that Niki and I realized it was okay to have separate experiences. We had different schedules and only saw each other at lunch. Niki and I felt like we were on our own. We were invited to different parties, participated in different afterschool events, and had school friends who did not overlap. Even though we made new friends, we stayed close. It helped that we had moved two doors away from each other (not even on purpose), and we carpooled to and from school together, but our friendship was deeper than just the convenience of being neighbors. Niki and I genuinely liked spending time together. We would spend countless hours at each other’s houses entertaining ourselves. Whether we were watching a movie, making up songs or dances for our own enjoyment, or just talking about our futures, Niki and I never had trouble finding something to do.

Looking back, it had never bothered me that Niki and I were always seen as a pair, because despite the fact that we were together a lot, we had two distinct personalities. In our younger years, my strong personality stood out, and was complimented by Niki’s docile and sweet disposition. Whenever we would go see a movie, I would be sure to voice my opinion, while Niki would go with the flow. Once we reached high school, our personalities became more aligned. Niki felt more self-assured and was more outgoing, while I became less outspoken though still confident. We took different classes, I was on the AP track, and we both participated in different activities, Niki played water polo while I danced. We both pushed each other. Niki urged me to be more social and take a break from my schoolwork, while I helped Niki with her math homework and encouraged her to stand up for herself. Even though Niki played sports, I was the more competitive one in our friendship, yet I never felt the pressure to compete with Niki because I knew everything she earned and accomplished was genuine.

 

One of the biggest turning points in our friendship came during our senior year of high school. We had to start thinking about our future, namely college. For years I had thought about going to school out-of-state, while Niki felt quite the opposite. She wanted to stay in California. Although we had talked about this for years, the reality hit when we each started applying to college. For the first time in our lives, we were not going to be in the same place. When I had this realization, I panicked. What was I going to do without my best friend in college? How would I navigate friendships and new experiences without Niki by my side? However, I realized there was no reason to be freaking out. Yes, Niki was my security blanket, my “person,” but I was also still me. I was the same Hannah who had worked hard in high school and prepared myself for the future, and I knew that I would be able to tackle college independent from Niki.

 

Saying goodbye to Niki was terrible. I remember the night like it was yesterday. My parents and I were flying to Detroit the next morning on a 7am flight. I was nearly done packing when I started freaking out. Breaking down the night before something big is typical of me, but this panic attack was bigger than any that had preceded it. My stomach was in knots as I sat at the dinner table looking down at my mom’s famous spaghetti and meatballs. I barely touched the food, and a few minutes into dinner tears started pouring down my face. “I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go!” I begged through my tears. My parents tried to comfort me, telling me that everything was going to be okay--I was just nervous and once I got there everything would be great. Around 8 pm, Niki, as well as her parents and sister, walked over to my house. My crying had subsided a bit, but as soon as I opened the door the waterworks started again. Everyone came inside, sat down and chatted while I whimpered, and every so often I giggled at a joke between my tears. They claimed I was going to do great in college; I had nothing to worry about. Fast forward an hour later, the moment I had been dreading for months. Niki’s parents and sister had left, and it was just Niki and me in my living room. Both of us in tears, we gave each other a long hug. Niki whispered in my ear, “Han, you are going to do so many great things at Michigan, you deserve this and will have the most amazing experience. Just because we will be apart doesn’t mean that our friendship will change. You know I am always just a phone call away.”

 

But let me tell you, the transition to Michigan was not an easy one for me. Think about this, I was moving across the country, to an unfamiliar place, knowing fewer people than I could count on one hand. I was saying goodbye to my family as well as my best friends. The hardest part was not having my go-to person. Though in retrospect, I realize that not having Niki by my side made me step out of my comfort zone and develop new friendships. I connected with people whom I may not have if I had come to college with my best friend. Although my first month of college was definitely difficult, without those tough times I would not be where I am today. During the first month, I made some of my new best friends, joined a sorority and learned a lot about myself. As I look back on my freshman year, I am thankful that I was on my own.

 

One thing did not change though—my friendship with Niki. We may have 2,000 miles between us, but our friendship is as stable as it was back in the days of HannahNiki. Technology has made it easy for us to keep in touch. Whether we are “face- timing”, talking on the phone on the way home from class, or text messaging, we manage to keep current with each other’s lives.

 

The most interesting part about college, though, is that Niki and I have had very different experiences. There have been some overlaps; we both struggled to adjust to college lectures, we both went through sorority rush, and we both made new friends, but our actual surroundings and day-to-day experiences could not have been more different. Niki’s days included walks on the beach in Santa Barbara, while mine included trudging through snow in Ann Arbor. Her bathing suit was a staple in her year-round wardrobe, while mine was left at home in Los Angeles. She drove home or her parents drove up to visit her when she was homesick or not feeling well, while I did not see my parents for months and negotiated student health when I was ill. However, we have consistently been there for each other; we were always happy to listen about the other’s experiences, hardships, and accomplishments.

 

During my freshman year at Michigan, I went home for the first time at Thanksgiving. My excitement was palpable as I boarded the plane in Detroit. Of course I could not wait to see my parents, sister and other family members, but I was just as excited to see Niki! Although we had kept in touch frequently, I wondered if seeing her would be different. Low and behold, when I finally arrived home, Niki and my relationship was just as it was when we left it three months prior. The only significant change was that we no longer knew each other’s friends. Our conversations were about people who did not have a connection to both of us. At first it was odd, but as time went on I got to “know” Niki’s friends and she got to “know” mine as well. Thanks to our long history, Niki and I always had a foundation to follow back on, common understandings, beliefs and experiences.

 

Fast forward to our junior year of college. Both of us studied abroad during our second semester. Niki went to Leeds, England while I went to Florence, Italy. It is funny to think that at one point, many years ago, we would never have imagined the possibility of traveling to another city, let alone another country for four months, without each other. Yet now, three years into different colleges, it felt just right. Florence was the perfect place for me. The city was rich with culture, fashion, art history, and of course the best food and wine. Florence was the ideal size, small enough for me to get to know the ins and outs, yet big enough to always find a new adventure. Niki and I had made a promise to each other before we each left for Europe; we were going to meet up at some point.

 

I had been looking forward to this day for weeks. Niki was finally coming to visit me in Florence. She loved England, and I was in love with Italy. It had been about two months since I last saw her, not our longest stretch apart by a landslide, but we had not really talked much because of our travels and school schedules.

 

I eagerly waited at the Santa Maria Novella train station for her arrival. I got there early even though I knew her train was going to be at least 5 minutes late – it was Italy after all! When she finally arrived I could not contain my excitement. There is something about seeing a familiar face in a foreign country that provides a sense of immediate comfort and joy. After our long hug and hellos, the two of us walked back to my apartment where Niki dropped off her bags. Our next stop was La Giostra, commonly known as the best restaurant in Florence (I came to disagree, but at the time I was excited to try it). The two of us walked down the dimly lit streets of Florence, passing Arnolfo di Cambio and Filippo Brunelleschi’s magnificent Duomo on the way to the restaurant. Our conversation never stopped, it was like we had never been apart and we just slid back into our old routine. When we arrived at La Giostra, we were greeted with glasses of Proseco and guided to our table. The restaurant was beautifully decorated with twinkle lights and possessed an authentic Italian feel. We both ordered amazing pasta dishes, along with a bottle of wine (we were in Italy!). Our meal was full of giggles, talking joyfully loud, and sheer happiness. I realized at that dinner that Niki and I had so much in common, yet there were so many differences between us. We discussed places that we both travelled to thus far, and it was interesting to hear how contrasting our experiences were in the same cities. Even abroad we were living very distinct lives, yet we were able to come together in Florence, and celebrate our amazing friendship. I also realized that we were both able to be so self-sufficient, due to our secure friendship. Our friendship had provided a solid foundation that gave us both the confidence and motivation to pursue our separate goals. 

 

Now as a senior in college, I am so grateful for my 18 plus year friendship with Niki. I am extremely lucky to have grown up with a best friend by my side, someone who has always had my back and encourages me to pursue my dreams. Niki and I were, and still are, so familiar with everything in each other’s worlds, our families, other friends, and daily routines, even though we are physically so far apart.

 

Although there have been a few bumps in the road, Niki and I have never had a real fight. Sure, there were a few disagreements, but I think the reason we have never gotten into a large fight is because we know each other so well. If Niki senses that something is bothering me, she will give me space and I will do the same for her. Our friendship has taught me the value of commitment. I have translated this value of commitment into my academic and extracurricular endeavors. When I sign up for something, I commit to it; I rarely quit things and try to hold myself accountable for everything I do. I know that these core values have been shaped by my friendship with Niki. I can only hope that my friendship with Niki continues for the rest of my life.

 

When we first met we were drawn together by our commonality, the same blue, flowered dress from The Gap. We were the same, known as HannahNiki, always together. As we grew up, so did our friendship. Like the best kinds of friendships, we supported each other through rough times and celebrated the good times. One thing stands out in Niki and my friendship-- our strong commitment to letting each other be ourselves, and becoming our own person. Although we love to be together, as we have matured we have realized that to maintain our friendship we each needed to be able to do our own “things” and become independent people. Our friendship is unique, one of a kind, and I will be forever grateful to the blue, flowered dress from The Gap for bringing us together.